Category Archives: Phylogeny of Fashion

Eyebrow Accessories

You might notice on the street, or caught a glimpse of a group of ’em at a recent rock show: avantgardsters- those post-hipster, blog-age club kid-esque individuals that glue this n’ thats to their face as part of their fashion-forward … Continue reading

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Phylogeny Of Fashion Explained

RU a fungi? Hopefully not. Maybz, you’re a pretty plant. U could be an awesome animal or a fascist fashion dinosaur… Lots’a people ask me: “What am I?” The whole point of Natural Selection is for you to decide for … Continue reading

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How To Have Style For Men

A whole lotta “straight” cis-gendered men ask me, “How do guys develop style?” Here’s my answer: Ok, dude, FUCKIN’ REALIZE that you were once a little boy TOUCHING OTHER LITTLE BOYS in your treehouse (or whatever) and STOP the INTERNALIZED … Continue reading

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Why Do Hipsters Stink?

Where do hipsters come from? And, why do they stink? You could say the hipster is just a result of the Internet, and just another piece of history repeating… But who are the true people that did this all before … Continue reading

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All Animals Exposed

Fungi-hipsters with plenty-o-money to spend on clothes become fashion dinosaurs. They’re hardly animals at all. Fashion dinos come in all different shapes n’ sizes n’ situations.  A fashion dinosaur is a common breed around fashion students/designers/moguls… But a meat-eating fashion … Continue reading

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Femsters and Butchsters

Break out your number 2 pencils, lil Darwins, ‘cuz it’z time for a vocabulary lesson.  Add this to your Natural Selection Dicktionary… Femster/Butchster. Butchster (Buh-tsch-st-er)- a plant, animal, or fungi that uses “masculine” (whatever that means) clothing to present themselves … Continue reading

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Trendsters- Plants and Fungi

New word for the natural selection dicktionary, lil Darwins…  Break out your number two pencils because it’s time to talk about a new vocab word: trendster. What is a trendster?  A trendster is someone that’s the opposite of a trendsetter. … Continue reading

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Fast Fashion

Ladies, Germs, and/or Fags… Here’s a poem: Fast Fashion Hipsters are crude; Wearing Ugg boots is rude. In a newster way, Make a straight boy look gay. Glue some shit to your face- In an avantagardster case. Damn, who you … Continue reading

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Fear The Fedora

Fedoras are everywhere. Fedoras are NOT your friend. Fear the fedora. Freddy Krueger made them scary and Indiana Jones made it sexy, but hot blonde tryster-hipsters make them an unfortunate staple in their crappy closets. Ever since the invention of … Continue reading

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Futurester Fashion

Newster- An animal of a dresser that is so0o0o in touch with the New Generation that they have their own unique style.  Futurester- A futuristic Newster.

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Plant, Animal, Or Fungus?

Hey there boyz, girlz, n’ or queerz… In store for ya today is a fabulous game of plant, animal, or fungus! I’ll give you hints as to what branch of the Phylogeny of Fashion the following person belongs.  By the … Continue reading

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What Does Being A Newster Mean For Summer?

Newsters are an animal in the Phylogeny of Fashion that dress fashion-forward according to the New Generation.  Their style can be crafty, shiny, future-y (which would make that person a futurester)- anything that makes the person’s style new.  Newsters are … Continue reading

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