Category Archives: Phylogeny of Fashion

Summer Style Advice With Kayvon

The three things you oughtta wear this summer are silly hats, bold prints, and interesting textures.

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Watch Out For Futuresters

The futuresters/avantgardsters/newsters/quirksters are multiplying.  So are the rabbits.  So is the roadkill.  Careful drivin round them, those silly animals… Don’t worry, I survived.

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Avantgardster Rules

Here are five rules for dressing to turn heads. 1. Plan ahead. Sometimes, in order to pull an avantgardster look off, I plan my outfit a week in advance.  It might take some sewing, glueing, elasticizing, gumming, and fake-uping to … Continue reading

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Transphylogeny

Here at Natural Selection, we’ve said before: you can move from one subcategory in the phylogeny of fashion to the other.  But, nobody is born a plant or an animal.  You’ve been brought up by the Old Generation as a … Continue reading

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Unibrows Are The New Mustaches

Mustaches are sooo tryster faux-New Generation!  Especially curly-cue mustaches.  What’s the deal with nowies wearing mustaches and making duck faces in poorly edited Facebook pics? What’s the deal with hipsters having curly-cue mustaches for realziez? Mustaches are soo DONE- over … Continue reading

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Pre-Dress

Always plan your outfit the night before, or at least before you shower for the day (or an hour before you dress if you don’t shower, you grimester).  Plan everything down to socks and underpants.  Why?  What if you’re getting … Continue reading

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Plant, Animal, or Fungus?

What is a tryster?  A tryster is a fungus that tries to be hipster-y.  Often, nowies TRY to be hipsters, making them trysters.  Sometimes a plant or fungi poses as an avantgardster to go see a show.  That would make … Continue reading

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Cooltential

New words for the Natural Selection Dicktionary, lil Darwinz… Here’s your new vocab words, take out your No. 2 pencils… cooltential and cooltentious. Cooltential (Cool-ten-shal): A person or thing that has potential to be cool. A person that is cool-ish-ish … Continue reading

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Turing a Party into a ParTay

One of my finer qualities is the knowledge of taking a party into the next level.  Here’s a 10-step guide to ensure that your shindigs are high qual. 1. The host should wear an outfit full of conversation starters. This … Continue reading

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Plant, Animal, or Fungus?

There’s a fine line between a hipster and a nowster.  Often times it comes down to intellect, talent, morals, taste- anything really.  Here’s an example of a photographer who looks nowster, but is SUCH a hipster based on the fact … Continue reading

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Plant, Animal, or Fungus?

Hello, Lil’ Darwinz…  Welcome to a fabulous edition of Plant, Animal, or Fungus.  I’m your host, James Dwynn. This is a game where you test your knowledge of the Phylogeny of Fashion. Whenever a plant or animal throws a party, … Continue reading

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