Dicktionary of NatSel

Confused bi the language we here at Natural Selection use?  Why don’t we grab the NatSel Dicktionary and I’ll explain.

Here at Natural Selection, we’ve developed our own language and way of describing style.  It’s a New Generation!  Forget about old fashion rules, lil’ Darwinz.

There are three branches of style in the Natural Selection Phylogeny of Fashion- Plant, Animal, and Fungus.  Refer to chart:

(Not all subcategories featured)

FUNGI (fun-guy)- A branch of the Phylogeny of Fashion that are devoid of good morals, taste, and often style.  Fungi are stuck in the Old Generation.

Nowie (now-ee): A fungus that dresses in current trends with little to no style.

Types of nowies include abercrombies that like to wear A+F or HCo, yuppies which dress and act to please ‘the man’, partygirlies that dress up in Forever 21 to ‘go out’ on the weekends, thuggies, those that look as though their pants are about to fall to the floor, guidies/guidettes, white people that turn orange from tanning beds, and the worst kind of nowie: an plainbie, someone with no style at all.

Thenbie (then-be): A fungus that is so out of touch with the New Generation that their clothes are outdated or were never ‘in style’ (whatever that means).

Thenbies include hippies, blandbies (worse than plainbies), comfies/gymbies- those who wear sweats or comfortable clothes exclusively, and oldies: members of the old generation that will never escape.

On the other side of the fungi spectrum are those that try to dress alternative, like hipsters, gothsters, emosters, ravesters, and scenesters.

An ewie (eww) is a fungus that is especially fungus-y.

Then, there are plants.  Plants are in touch with the New Generation.  Subcategories of plants include:

Nowster- A person that dresses hip and current.  Often confused with a hipster, this person dresses well but has good shit goin’ on.

Causter- A person that dresses causual (mostly) but is hip and in the now.

Pastipster- Someone that uses second hand, thrift, and/or old clothes to create fun, new looks.

Hippiester-  A New Generation hippie that has very good morals and is in the know.

Quirkster- Quirky dressed person that has a fun, loud style and often the personality to go with it.

Animals are the apex of the fashion hierarchy.  They have great style- and you don’t have to spend a lot to have sick threads.  Howevzies, not all animals are the best people.

Fashion Dinosaur- A fashionable dresser that either 1. buys expensive clothes 2. is a fashion designer that lives in fashion 3. makes their own clothes.

Newster- An animal of a dresser that is so0o0o in touch with the New Generation that they have their own unique style.

Avantgardster- This person dresses to turn heads and makes an entrance no matter the occasion.

Hiptestor-  Someone that uses fashion to protest.

Most of the time, unless you’re a fungus, you can be a certain subcategory some days and a completely different subcategory another day.  Maybe you are a plant quirkster most of the time but you decide to make a statement to go to your fav band’s show by wearing a record on your head.  That would be totally avantgardster (but a little stale, as it’s been done in the indie world numerous times).  Sometimes partygirlies dress up like plants or hipsters to go to dive bars.

When you’re around others, your style is affected by your entourage.  According to the Web of Style:

Remember: everything and everyone is an accessory, so always look your best.

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