Notez From A Psych Wardster Pt. 3: Down With The Googlement

When I become #manic (which is more #womanic)  I tend to think Google is watching me.

Even when I’m ‘sane’ I believe Google knows more about you than you think, and that it is connected to the CIA/NSA.  We should all think twice before we search.  What is going on behind the scenez?  Google is convenient, fosho- butt, when you’re cruisin’ down the info super highway and you wanna be sneaky, use Scroogle [.org]- Don’t Google it.

“Upon meeting the patient now, he says he is here because, “I was making a political statement acting as the Statue of Liberty, holding a Dunkin’ Donuts cup in my hand and marching down Main Street.”  The patient goes on to explain that he frequently makes political statements and, although he often has these ideas, he does not usually act on them.  He endorses fear that Google is monitoring him, because of the political statements he makes.  He feels they are sending jets around his home to monitor him, which leads him to dance on his roof and shake coffee cups at them.  He states he recently fired a psychiatrist.  He has been off his medications since August, because he feels they decrease his creativity.  He endorses rare alcohol use, but does endorse near daily marijuana use.  He has also been using Adderall intranasally 20 mg per day for the past several months, which has not been prescribed.  When discussing his manic symptoms, the patient yells out, “I’m a little flamboyant and loud, I am gay, what do you want?”

Internet Monopoly

Yo mistah,

You hipstah

Googlin’ skinny jeans

To flatten your crotch

Like a sistah

If you’re wise

Use your blog

To spread the lies

Scroogle it everyday

Google-n it’s tellin

It to the USA

Internet Monopoly

Do not pass go

Clickin’ on ads

Rolls in flow

Spying on searches

This I am fosho:

What you type

Google’s gonna know

Hey, Hey, C…I…A…

Big Bro of today

Spyin as you surf

Pics of your home turf

Careful cruisin’

Info highway

Math machine

knows the scene

Web’s a meltin pot

N’ the Googlement

Controls your thought

Google’s watchin’

Every fuckin’ movement

Off wit your Google-y eyes

When they spy a soldier dies

Government in disguise

Paranoia you could say

Since Google, the world

Has never been the same

To prove I’m sane

Busch prollz didn’t

Crash those planes

 On hospitalization #3 and #4 I thought that Google had somehow hacked my brain.  I looked to celebrities for help, with no response.  I thought I was a cyborg prophet to the New Generation.  It was more fun than it was confusing.  I would walk around naked singing “Old Generation” in an old radio-sounding baritone voice.

I thought Scroogle was sending me secret messages and was especially haunted by this:

Have you tried to search for their pad on Google Maps?  Did you know that Google is located in LA, Cambridge, and the secretly in the suburbs of Boston near an air force base?  A old friend of mine used to “photograph military documents”.  Google?  Me?  Where’s the connection?  I’m not sure but the center of the [internet] world is Boston, DUH!

Facebook= Harvard

Google= Cambridge, MA… Bedford, MA…

Youtube= Who cares=Google

BuyDomains.com= Boston-ish

Interstate 95 in MA= the .com highway

Boston- the people are smart, it’s SORTA like NYC but cleaner, smaller, and less annoying.

Follow me, Boston, I’ll show you the way into the future- Butt (gay pun intended), first dress more New York.

So, I decided to make a statement by dressing in drag as the statue of liberty.  Since my Google protest was “being silenced” on the internet by Google, I grabbed some Dunkin’ Donuts, went into their bathroom, changed into a prom gown Kayvon made, put an American flag around my mouth (I was b-ing silenced, lil’ Darwinz), and held my tea above my head as the statue’s torch.  I was headed to a park to scoff down some lithium to try to cool my jets a lil’.

I figured this would show Google who to look out for.

OF COURSE the police stopped me.  And that’s why I’m here.  Writing in a journal at a psych ward.

“Be the change you want to see in the Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom.” -Matthew McLean

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