In Cambridge J@1L, inmatez wait 4 Wednesday, canteen day, lie a child waitz for X-mas. Canteen iz diz personal fund where inmates can get junk food and hygenic items. On sunday, I filled out my wish li$t onto the scantron sheet, @$ if I were re-taking the S.A.T.’s. Wednesday came, then 4:00. Inmates lined up at “the cage” waiting for their name to be called, with mouthes watering. Finally, my name was called, i grabbed the two brown bags that held a week’s worth of junk food, and ran to my locker to fill it up with goodz. When dinner is at 3PM, you kinda find it essential to get junk to eat before “lightz out” at 11:30. The other option iz to starve yirself like Tim-d@-closest-ed ghey guy.
Here’s what my “canteen” held this week:
1 Loaf of Wheat bread
2 Jars of Peanut Butter
20 Bags of Ramen Noodles (which are official jail currency)
2 Bags of white rice (cooks in 5 minutez!)
6 Squeeze-cheezes (jalepeno)
1 Bag of iced tea powder
1 Bag of Kool-Aid (Tropical)
…Now, for d@ SH1T
7 Cinamin Rolls
2 Boxes of Sugar Cubes
2 Bags of Atomic Fireballs
10 chick-o-sticks ($o0o0o good- you should try them!)
Ok, $o maybe i’m being @ little self-indulgent but when the only thing to look forward to is to eat, and when Ramen Noodle Soup is the inmate to inmate currency, I haveta order a shit ton-a SH1T.
$O… $58.93 later, I have enough JUNK to L@$t my growing azz until next week.
Enjoy eating thingz, lil Darwinz!