Pre-Dress

Always plan your outfit the night before, or at least before you shower for the day (or an hour before you dress if you don’t shower, you grimester).  Plan everything down to socks and underpants.  Why?  What if you’re getting dressed and your booty shorts are too short for your boy shorts?  You’d have to get undressed and half re-dressed so that your panties are hidden under the shorts that barely hide your ass.

When I get dressed, I don’t say that I’m “picking out” an outfit- I say that I’m building an outfit.  Pick out one item and go from there.  The foundation of the outfit could be a pant, T, jacket or coat, or even accessory.  An outfit doesn’t just pop out of your closet- you gotta BUILD a getup.

You can’t be over-prepared.  Sometimes I build outfits for two days in advance.

They say French women takes off one accessory before leaving her house.  Sometimes, I do the opposite.  SO… If you’re a quirkster, throw on that zany hat before you go to get your cigs.  Maybe you’re a nowster and you wanna deconstruct your outfit and rebuild so that the words on your ironic T match your skinnies.  If you’re a hippiester maybe you wanna add that last touch by putting a flannel over that long sleeve thermal shirt.  Call yourself a fashion dinosaur?  Make a quick accessory before you go out to the club.  Maybe you’re a hipster and you wanna curl your stache up.  If you’re an avantgardster- who knows?  Maybe you’ll show up to that rock show wearing feathers on your face… But you might pump it up a notch by adding a wig cap and feathers on your scalp as well.  Partygirlies should throw on a pair of pearls with your knit Forever 21 short black dress.  Remember: “No matter what party ‘ya crashin’, first take the next step with ‘ya fashion” -Kayvon Edson.

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