Transphylogeny

Here at Natural Selection, we’ve said before: you can move from one subcategory in the phylogeny of fashion to the other.  But, nobody is born a plant or an animal.  You’ve been brought up by the Old Generation as a nowie or thenbie… which is a fungi.  Someone who develops an alternative persona goes through some sort of fungi-alternative cocoon  phase.  They become a fungi hipster, gothster, scenester, or emoster for some time.  It’s inevitable.  You can get stuck in fungi-hood, though.

Once past the alterna-fungi phase… you can be transphylogenic.  You can be any plant or animal without being a TRYster (trying to be something cooler than yourself).

The following chart refers to the evolution of style and transpylogeny as it applies to most well-dressed people.

According to the chart, it is easier to evolve from a plant after being a fungi than an animal.  That transphylogenic evolution would be less of a stretch.

If you’re an avantgardster animal, you probz had a hippiester phase.  If you’re a hippiester, you probably had a hipster phase after you shaved off your dreads from when you were a thenbie hippie.

If you’re a fashion dinosaur, you probs liked clothes your whole life, but that doesn’t mean you’ve always dressed well.  Maybe you went from a nowie to a scenester, then evolved into a quirkster, learned to sew, and became a fashion dinosaur.

If you’re a nowster- you might often get confused by being called a hipster.  The truth of the matter is that you ain’t no stinkin’ fungi hipster… you’re acclimated into your style and you’ve developed good taste.  That makes you a nowster- instead of a hipster.

Keep in mind: one day you could be a quirkster, but on your way to the #occupy rally you cover yo’ self in money and burnt flags… you evolve into a hiptestor.  After being a fungi for awhile, you can freely cross over to any subcategory in the phylogeny of fashion.

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