Trendsters- Plants and Fungi

New word for the natural selection dicktionary, lil Darwins…  Break out your number two pencils because it’s time to talk about a new vocab word: trendster.

What is a trendster?  A trendster is someone that’s the opposite of a trendsetter.   This type of person, according to the Phylogeny of Fashion,  follows trends seemingly tastelessly.  Trends that are followed by this type of person could be those of a plant or nasty trends like a stinkin’ fungi.  Animals in the Phylogeny of Fashion tend to create their own trends, and therefore are probably not trendsters (except for nasty, meat- eating fashion dinosaurs).

According to the Phylogeny of Fashion, there are four types of trendsters:  hipster trendsters, plant trendsters, nowie trendsters, and thenbie trendsters.  Hipster trendsters tend to take to trite things that they think are totally the next curly-cue mustache.  Plant trendsters (sometimes pretentiously) pick pop-up phrases, fads, and other this and thats.   Nowie trendsters never stop nibbling on stupid stuff like Ugg boots and gobble down garbage that is growing in the trendosphere.  What about those lame-ass thenbie trendsters?  Let’s not even talk about how tacky hippies think that taking to the streets in a tie dye tunic counts and trendy!  It’s not 1969, you stinking fungi-hippie!

Let’s use the trendy curly-cue mustache as a cute lil example for a trendster analysis.

In 2004-2007, curly-cue mustaches busted back into the scene via Newsters and avantgardsters looking to fulfill some sort of Salvador Dali-like aesthetic.  From 2007-2008 plants peeped at people like “OMG, LOL!” when avantgardsters and newsters started sporting this silly new trend, simultaneously trend-forcasting that  mustaches and must be the wave of the future.  Circa 2008-2010,  curly cue mustaches queued in as cute little accessories for trendster plants and hipsters alike. After 2010, curly-cue mustaches seemed cute to even stinkin’ Nowies saying, “Let’s throw racist Mexican curly-cue mustache parties!”. Just before the turn of the Old and the New Generation, on December 21st, 2012,  mustaches came a staple in everybody’s daily life- even thenbies are sporting the silly trend… And once the thenbies are aware of a trend, it’s over-n-out!  Thenbiedom= total tackiness to the max.

Let’s look at an evolutionary timeline of how the silly trend came into play, class- quick now, grab a razor if ‘ya got a curly-cue mustache, cuz it’s time to stop being such a tryster and a trendster.

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